Bill Cipher Plays Octo Expansion
by JRedd7272
Summary: Bill Cipher decides to play Splatoon 2's Octo Expansion. And he shows it to all mortals out there in his realm. (Parody of Nathaniel Bandy's video of testing out the Octo Expansion)


**So I never truly watched Gravity Falls. I only was interested after seeing Bill Cipher. And now it's time for another parody fic.**

**Enjoy! :D**

* * *

*Weirdmaggedon theme plays*

Secret message: !SGNILKNI ,UOY GNIHCTAW MI

*a small Woomy is heard at the end*

***scene: mysterious realm***

"Hello, my delicate skin puppets," A dream demon said, holding a Nintendo Switch Pro Controller in his hands, "Bill Cipher here, and before I get started, I want to say this product was published by Nintendo themselves. Somehow. Even though they gave me Octo Expansion to review, I'm going to be completely honest to see if I like this or not."

On the TV screen, it showed what was happening right now. Bill's customized Agent 8 had very light skin and blue eyes. And the version Bill picked was the female one, with short, pink hair, smaller back tips, and longer front tips. And it seems he has gotten pretty far in his journey.

"I'm going to go through more of this, and then let you know if this is really worth getting." Bill said. He moves the analog sticks around to make Agent 8 walk around the inside of the subway train.

"And, I have to say... this DLC is pretty difficult, which I appreciate, but some of the levels are very stupid." Bill groaned in annoyance. Then he presses the X button to bring up the map on Eight's CQ-80.

All of the lines are unlocked, with most levels completed, and found. Some still have to be done.

"First off, I gotta say, I love this map menu," Bill complimented, "This is awesome. So, I'm going to be playing random levels, and see how good I do."

But because Bill Cipher is such a mischievous demon, he feels like he'll be able to get through this quickly.

* * *

***Level: Line J02: Matchmaster Station***

Eight enters her card through the scanner, and is now pushed onto the actual level. She holds a Squeezer in her hands.

"First off, I gotta say that the missions in Octo Expansion are much more interesting." Bill said.

The demon sees that there is a bunch of rubber boxes on the left side that form a tree. The right side is made of boxes, and some of them have to be broken to match the tree on the left.

"So, for this one, I have to make... THAT, from the wooden boxes." Bill said. He looks at the layout as Pearl and Marina keep talking.

"This is gonna take hours! Look at how complex this is! This is ridiculous." Bill complained. He was upset at first, but then he changed the topic to something more intriguing.

"Oh, and there's a lot of creative missions like this in the game." He reminded. He moves the stick, and presses the ZR button to make Eight shoot ink from her weapon to make 8 go to the launchpad. Eight turns into her octopus form and swims through her ink in a straight path, and goes to the launchpad, where the true level awaits her.

"Ah, you know what? I'm not gonna do this one," Bill Cipher groaned, "Like, it's not that it's gonna be that difficult, it just seems it would take too long, and all you would see is me playing that one. So we're gonna play a more action based level."

He makes 8 leave the level so he can pick another one to do.

* * *

***Level: Line D10, Labyrinth Station***

Bill already got pretty far in the level. Since it was based on the tutorial level for Inkopolis Square, but with more to it, he already seemed a little experienced.

Eight was shooting ink from her Splat Dualies, splatting anything that came in her path.

"I guess one thing I wanna say is... I don't know how I feel about the music in Octo Expansion," Bill said, an unsure look on his face, "It's really... different compared to what most Splatoon music is like. Like, It's got a more eerie kind of feeling, more dark and underground-ish..."

Eight splats a few sanitized Octolings, then goes up a bit and through a grate, following Bill's exact commands on the controller.

"Which, I guess it's good to have something a little different, but it's just... it's just really strange than what we normally hear." Bill continued. Eight splats an Octotrooper above, then she inks some trash bags so she can get the higher ground.

"*burp* Ugh." And Bill didn't appreciate much of what he just did.

* * *

_Meanwhile, in Mars..._

A giant wave of a mysterious gas comes rushing towards Mars. It was a white substance, and it flowed all round the planet. Then Mars shriveled up, completely erasing it from the Solar System.

* * *

***back to Bill Cipher's dimension***

A super jump icon was near where Eight was standing. Bill quickly holds the ZR button to quickly defeat the sanitized Octoling once it landed. But that attack ended up making Eight break her shield, since the Octoling did attack.

Now Eight was vulnerable to any enemy attacks.

"Ooooh, OKAY! Crud!" Bill yelled, trying to ink the area around him, so he can heal faster, "Don't die, pliz. Don't get hit."

Eight swam around in her ink for a bit before she gotten her shield back. Once that was done, Bill moved the sticks around, while inking at the same time. As Eight was inking, an orange box, with the Kamabo Co.'s logo on it, popped up from the ink.

"Oh, hello, box!" Bill greeted, not really caring much for it, "Hah ha, I was not expecting that. Just kinda came out of nowhere."

Eight swims up a ramp in her own ink. When she got to the top, she saw that a sanitized Twintacle Octotrooper was already there waiting for her. She tried shooting at it, but the sanitized Octo had a higher range, breaking Eight's shield.

"Ooooh!" Bill groaned. Then he tried to make Eight move away from the attack, but it was very slow.

"No, no no no, no. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. STOP!" Bill kept on yelling. But as soon as he said the final 'stop', Eight got splatted by a sanitized Octoling, who was holding a Slosher. Bill lowered his brow from his only eye, unamused as he saw Eight's octopus ghost float up.

Now he only had 2 more lives in the game.

"Mmm..." The dream demon mumbled.

***soon***

Bill got right back to where he was the last time, making Eight shoot at a sanitized Twintacle Octotrooper, and trying to splat him, but to no avail.

"So, so as you can see, this level is kinda like... it's kinda similar to what you would normally find in vanilla Splatoon 2," Bill reminded, "But it'd definitely a lot more harder. There's a lot more going on, so ya gotta be more aware of your surroundings.

Eight kept on splatting, trying to get many collectables along the way.

* * *

***Level: Line D09: Goose Station***

Bill read the instructions on the stage. The only available weapon was the Inkjet, one of the specials you can use in this DLC.

"'Fly to the goal!' Now, these levels I really love," Bill cheered, "Where there's the ones where you have to use specials, like the ball... or flying around. I think these are very creative. And I really wish we saw these in the original game."

Eight picks the special available, and soon goes into the level so she can start.

*later*

"Wait, hold on. Can I...?" Bill assumed. Eight was near the yellow grates, and Bill was confused on what was gonna happen. When Eight got near the grate, she actually went down, as if the Inkjet wasn't keeping her up.

"Oh, OH!" Bill yelped, making Eight skip one of them. But luckily, there was another one next to it, so Eight was safe.

"Okay, that was weird. Honestly, I thought that was just gonna fall through. I dunno why." Bill said, letting out a relieved sigh afterwards. Then he makes Eight move down to where another checkpoint was awaiting her, along with an Inkrail.

Next up, there were ink sticks, many in different locations. And some squid rings were there for the extra points to get.

"Oh, this is clever!" Bill complimented. Eight moves around, going in her ink for momentum, then passing the Ink sticks.

"Alright, I see what they're doing. Gotta do some little puzzle stuff." Bill continued, with a smug tone.

Then there was another part, where there were two Inkrails for more speed in ink, and with that, there are four sanitized Octarians: two Octosnipers, and two Octocommanders. On top of it, there are also two Octocopters.

"Submerge in the Inkrails, then shoot! That's the ticket." Marina reminded.

"Eh- they're telling me to use the Inkrails, but I kinda don't want to. This is more fun." Bill said, with a small laugh afterwards. But the one of the Octosnipers snipe Eight, breaking her shield.

"Okay, I'm using the Inkrails! Don't die!" Bill yelled, his one eye widening. Eight goes inside the inkrail, trying to recover.

"I might die." Bill groaned. Eight goes forward in the Inkrail after she was done recovering.

"I feel like I'm playing Metal Gear Solid right now." Bill said. Then the Octo Commanders shoot at Eight, breaking her shield again.

"UUAAAAAGH! How did they- NO!" Bill complained, a mixture of surprise and anger in his voice. Eight quickly shot one of the boxes, revealing some armor. Then she goes on the inkrail for more recovering.

"Okay, stay behind the wall, and... wait, wait wait wait. Grab the suitcase." Bill whispered. Eight gets the suitcase, and makes her recovering go faster, and it's done.

"Alright, thanks." Bill said gleefully. But as soon as he said that, an Octosniper snipes Eight, breaking her shield once again.

"NO! As soon as I got it, I lost the thing!" Bill shouted. Eight swam in the Inkrail to try and avoid the attacks. But the Octocommander finished Eight off, splatting her.

"Aww." Bill sighed, a face palm afterwards.

* * *

***Level: Line D07: Targetbuster Station***

Eight enters the level, an Octobrush in her hands.

"Ooh, we're getting five lives. This must be intense." Bill said. And yes; on the screen, there were 5 lives. Eight went through the turncycle, slips through the grate in octopus form, and the timer starts.

"Bust all the targets before time runs out?" Bill repeated the mission in question. When Bill encounter the crate, he made Eight stop in her tracks. Then he moves Eight with the brush in a straight line.

Then another crate is encountered, and Bill just stops to take his time and take a swing at it.

"Oh, this is cool! I've never done one like this." Bill complimented. And he kept going through the level with the same strategy he has in his head.

When Eight jumped from the inkrail after Bill got so far...

"You ran out of time- test failed." CQ Cumber said. The bag on Eight's backpack fills up with sanitized ink, then explodes, causing her to get splatted.

"OH- what? I ran out of time?" Bill was in shock as he asked himself that question. Luckily, Eight has 4 more lives. She respawned as she took a glance at the level again. Bill looked at the timer, and his one eye just widened.

"Wai- wh- wha- I have 35 seconds?! Holy moly!" The dream demon complained. He allowed Eight to keep moving forward, but didn't press ZL in time to turn into octopus form for Eight to go through the grate. At the last second, she went through. But she was still too slow. And fell into the abyss.

Another life wasted.

"Thirty fi-? I thought it said 2:35!" Bill reminded.

***more minutes later***

Eight was swinging her brush as she destroys many crates.

"Okay, 10 seconds left. I don't know how much there's left to do." Bill said. Eight got the two crates near the inkrail, and was now at the last part, where nine crates await her. One being orange.

Eight hops off the rail, and swings at more crates.

"Oh my god, there's all this. Holy moly, here we go!" Bill exclaimed. Eight keeps on swinging. Crates are being demolished. Specifically the ones on top of the Octowashers.

"4..." Bill mumbled. There was 4 more seconds on the clock. Eight demolished the four small crates near her. Now there were only 3 more.

"3... 2...!" Bill watched the timer keep ticking. Eight kept on swiping the crates, but...

She had no ink. They weren't taking the hits.

"COME O- I'm out of ink!" Bill yelped. And CQ Cumber marks the fail of the test again as Eight explodes.

"NOOOO!" Bill cried, but also halfway laughing as well.

***next attempt***

"Okay, we can do it, though. I was right there." Bill said calmly. Eight landed her brush, making an ink trail in a straight line to destroy the first small crates easily.

Eventually, she made it to the last part again. She destroyed the crates on the Octowashers first, then the last three are there.

Bill repeatedly pressed the button to get rid of the crates.

"Come on. Kay, we have ink! SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM!" Bill screamed loudly. More spamming happened.

BAM!

The last crate was destroyed. The test is passed.

Bill backed up in surprise, but also relieved he made it.

"OH! Holy flipping lord! Lord almighty Axolotl," He shouted, "Wow. Wowie. How? I can't believe that worked! I thought I was honestly done for."

* * *

Back on the subway train, Bill checked out another level he hasn't done yet.

"Hit all seven 8-ball switches?" Bill repeated the mission in question. He thought about it, but was confused. He may know lots of things, but he is unaware of the many missions of this game.

"Wait, I'm not acutally even sure what that means." He sighed.

* * *

***Level: Level D05: All That 8-Ball Station***

Eight held an E-liter 4K Scope in her hands, looking at the giant pool table with ramps, and some 8-Balls.

"Turn on seven switches... With limited ink? Is that even possible?!" Pearl complained.

"With limited ink? Oh, limited ink! Okay, I see." Bill realized as soon as he heard Pearl speak. Bill held the ZR button, allowing Eight to aim at one of the 8-Balls. The one was right near one of the seven switches.

"Oh, this is kind of neat." Bill complimented. He adjusted the aim for Eight a little more. He released the trigger, and Eight did as well, which made the ball bounce, hitting the Switch as well.

"And-a... pop! Kinda sucks that it's limited ink, though. Maybe I shouldn't have charged that for so long." Bill said. He allows Eight to aim once again, with the ball that was next to the one before it was moved.

Bill releases the trigger early, pushing the ball a little bit. But still hitting the switch.

"Like a little charge. Okay, that makes a lot more sense." Bill chuckled, but he calmed down when he remembers something like anything else, "I might be done for since I did that."

The ball that Eight shot was still slowly moving, and it hit the other switch next to the one it just got. It was then Bill realized when it said 'seven switches'.

"Oh wait! Oh, I see! For a second, I thought I only had seven balls. But I only have three." He exclaimed.

He holds the ZR button again.

"Let's see... you know what, let's do..." He released the trigger early again, but it was too little, and didn't move the third ball.

"Oh- dang it!" He tried again, but was once again too early. That made all the ink become wasted.

"Oh no! Oh, god!" Bill laughed at that.

"You ran out of ink- test failed." CQ Cumber sighed. He stopped Eight in her tracks to get the extra ink tank sitting close to her. The bag made Eight explode again.

"WAIT! Wait a minute, I was getting more ink! Are you serious?" Bill groaned.

***next attempt***

After getting the first switch with the first ball, Bill made Eight do a light tap for the second ball to get the second switch.

But the ball bounced off of the box instead.

"Aw darn, I missed!" Bill exclaimed. So he allows Eight to hit the third ball with a full charge, and that ball bounced, getting two switches in one shot.

"Okay, that was good. That was really good." Bill said gleefully.

One of the balls was near a ramp, where, when climbing up that one, will have another switch.

"Okay, probably like... this!" Bill cheered as he lets go of the trigger. The Ball goes up the ramp, but it was too far to the right, so it didn't get the switch.

"I feel like I'm playing Billiards!" Bill laughed at his own assumption. But that bouncing ball did get another switch unintentionally.

"Oh wow. So I missed, but I did get that one, I guess. So that's good?" Bill said, accepting his own will of accidentally getting another one. But okay with it anyway since the goal was getting all seven of them.

Eight swam around the area in her ink as Bill was thinking of a plan on how he will be able to do this.

"So I only need to get two more," Bill explained, "If I just like, tap this one forward and get it in front of the ramp, I should be good."

And with a light tap from the sniper, one of the switches was hit. Bill only needs one more to pass the test!

So Bill makes Eight aim at the last ball, and...

BOOM!

The ball moves forward after the charge, but like the other ball near the ramp, the ball was too close to the left, and it fell off the ramp, not getting the switch.

"WHAT? It MISSED?! How did that miss?" Bill exclaimed. He took some more time to think as Eight moves around a bit more.

"Okay, here's my plan. We're gonna move this forward a touch." He reminded. He does a little charge, but it was TOO little, and only wasted ink, not making the ball move at all.

"Oh, darn. I'm done for..." Bill groaned. He tries it again, but it was too little again, and Eight ran out of ink. CQ Cumber was making Eight explode again.

"Yup, okay. I'm DEAD." Bill sighed as his one eye turns red, just in time to see Eight explode after speaking.

* * *

***next attempt***

"Kay, there we go." Bill said as the first ball hits the first switch. But it slowly moved on after that.

"Come on- oh my gosh..." Bill groaned, "It's really hard to tell exactly how hard to hit your shot, cuz I'm trying to line it up with the ramp, but... it's kinda hard to do that."

Eight makes a full charge for the second ball, and it hits the second switch.

"A little bit this way." Bill started. But instead of the last time, the ball bounced off the box, so it didn't get the other switch.

"Aw- dang it, man.." Bill sighed, his eyebrow lowering.

Meeting with the ramp again, Bill made Eight do a full charge. The ball was too far to the right, it bounced off the ramp, and... the ball fell out of bounds, into the dark abyss.

"Oh... what? Whaaaat?" Bill said sassily, placing one hand on his hip (even though he's a triangle).

***next attempt***

Bill got four switches from this attempt. But now was stuck on one part.

"Dang," He said, "I can get this one. It's just the ramp that I'm worried about. I'm going to try doing it like halfway."

Eight does a halfway charge, and unleashes the ink from the sniper. It only slowly moved forward. Still getting the switch, though.

"Oh, that was too soft! Nooo, that was too soft!" Bill groaned.

***more attempts later...***

Four switches obtained.

"Okay, we're gonna have to play... some bouncing balls" Bill mumbled, "We're gonna bounce this ball off of that ball, and that's how we get the thing."

Eight did a full charge on one of the balls, and it hit the one in front of it once it was shot forward. The balls did, in fact, bounce.

"Bouncin'; alright. That's poppin..." Bill said sarcastically. But ow he got annoyed when seeing where the balls are at.

"These are at such horrible angles!" He stated, "I can't even, like, reach this. I have... I have one idea."

One of the balls was near the ramp. So Eight steadies a charge.

"If I can barely bounce off of the ramp..." Bill started. Eight unleashes the charge, and the ball bounces off the ramp. And it hit a switch.

"Okay, that worked! That actually worked." Bill laughed. Then he cleared his throat as he calmed down a bit.

"Okay, here we go." He said. Eight lets out a small charge.

"Gonna tap it..." Bill started, but it was too little of a charge again. Only wasted ink.

"No! Dang it, I only have one shot!" Bill groaned. He had to make this one shot count. Eight stored a charge for all the ink she had left just for aiming at the ball.

"I only have one shot to get this. And I'm really worried it's gonna bump into..." Bill reminded. Eight releases the charge, and the ball moves forward. It didn't bounce off the box next to it, however.

"Hit the thing! Hit it, HIT IT!" Bill screamed. The ball bounced off the walls of the boxes, and...

BAM!

It hit the final switch.

"YES! Oh my god, I was about to explode, too!" Bill cheered, "Oh my god, that was close."

He laughed soon afterwards.

* * *

***Level: Level D04: Mad Props Station***

Eight was on one of the spinning platforms, trying to aim at the glowing yellow buttons with the sniper, which is the only weapon available for this test.

"Eight! Look down again!" Pearl called out. Eight tried to step forward a little, but...

She fell down into the abyss. Bill raised an eyebrow, confused why that even happened.

"Okay, how...? How?" He asked himself. Little did he even find the platform that was a couple inches away.

***next attempt***

Eight fell down, avoiding the squid rings that came up. The platform was spinning, so Bill had to interpret this carefully.

"Oh noooo!" Bill yelled as he thought Eight was gonna fall again. But Eight landed on the head of the platform, where she was safe for standing on.

"Okay. Alright." Bill said in a calm tone. He presses the ZR button lightly to spread a little ink on the platform. Eight now falls down the platform since she was too far to the right, and the platform was spinning.

"Alright I thought I... I thought right. I did think right about me dying. Yes." Bill explained calmly as Eight turns into dust, with her little octopus ghost flying upwards, ready to respawn for the next attempt.

***next attempt***

Back on the same platform. * had ink on the head of that platform, and was carefully balancing to make sure she doesn't fall. She only had one life left, so Bill had to be careful about what he was gonna do next.

"Okay, this is, like, a super multitask level," Bill said, "Gotta not fall, you gotta hit the panels, and you gotta hit this little propeller thing, all while this spins."

As the level continues going on, Eight is now on another platform, where she was met with a couple sanitized Octotroopers. Bill presses the button to hit the propeller, and that caused the platform to move. It was still spinning at the same speed.

Eight began to lose her balance again.

"How- wh- wha! WHOA!" Bill yelped. But as Eight fell, she landed on one of the rubber boxes, which landed her fall. Now that the platform was more horizontal, she was almost safe to stand on it.

Bill chuckled, but he realized Eight was still falling.

"Oh god!" He exclaimed. Luckily, he held the ZR button just in time to allow Eight to turn into her octopus form to hide in the ink. And that made her able to stand on the platform again.

"Oh god, okay. That was close." Bill sighed.

* * *

***Level: Level H01/DO3: Slap Bracelet Station***

Eight threw a Splat Bomb up the Inkfurler after using the turncycle to get a speed boost. Later she fell down, and wasn't fast enough to get onto the Inkfurler, as the bomb just exploded before she could come back up.

"COME O- no!" Bill groaned, upset that the plan didn't work. He just chuckled at that later on.

"Aw, come on." He said, as if that statement never happened.

He tried the same strategy again. And that time, Eight was on the Inkfurler now. The bomb exploded just in time for her to step in it.

"Whew! Oh, that was sick." Bill complimented, "I don't know why, but that was so satisfying."

Eight shot more small Inkfurlers as an Octosniper aims at her and tries to snipe her.

"Look at Eight with that strats!" Pearl cheered.

"That's right, man!" Bill replied.

After splatting the Octosniper, Eight made her way up to four vertical Inkfurlers. Bill gently pressed the ZR button to do light charges to make the Inkfurlers reveal a place to stand on.

"I don't know how I feel about this." Bill said. Eight turned to her octopus form to swim in the ink walls. Slowly, the Inkfurlers went back up, so Eight had to swim quickly.

"Uuuugh! Oh, this is very uncomfortable!" Bill exclaimed as he gets through all that. But luckily, he made it. And he reached the checkpoint.

"Okay. I hate riding up walls like that." Bill groaned as he looks unamused.

Later on, Eight found another Inkfurler moving against a platform. She sniped it so it can reveal some ink to slide up.

But then Bill recklessly made Eight go through the turncycle. And the Inkfurler wasn't even there for her to climb up by that time. It was too far away.

"Oh, why did I do that?" Bill shrieked. Then he kept his cool and laughed. So then he just said:

"I dunno, I was just like 'lol, let's go'."

***next attempt***

In that same spot, Eight did the same spot as last time. This time, Bill remembered to wait a bit. Once the Inkfurler was near Eight, she swam through the turncycle so she can get to the Inkfurler.

"Alright, this one..." Bill started. Eight barely made it onto the Inkfurler. But she was on it, so that's what counts.

"Holy moly, mortals, that is so much more precise than it looks." Bill chuckled. The goal was near.

It was down below.

Bill held the R button to make Eight ready a Splat Bomb. She threw it across to another Inkfurler down below. In theory, this could open up a path to get a way to the goal.

"Kay, that has to-" Bill started. Only to realize the bomb just fell. It didn't hit near the Inkfurler. Bill raised his eyebrow in confusion.

"What? Do I literally have to jump- oh my gosh, I think I have to jump-shoot this." He sighed.

So Eight swam through her ink, and jumped. But...

It barely even got her far. Even when trying to snipe it, her charge was too little. She fell into the abyss.

"What?! Nooo! It still doesn't reach!" Bill screamed.

One attempt later, Bill realized another turncycle in front of Eight. The Octoling threw a Splat Bomb onto the turncycle, and that propelled it forward. The Splat Bomb soon landed on the platform near the Inkfurler.

"What? THAT was the strat?" Bill shouted. Eight swam down and fell, but avoided squid rings along the way (cuz button presses). Bill just just surprised that plan worked.

"THAT was the STRAT? That is so clever! I never would've thought of that." He complimented. Eight shot a full charged snipe on the goal, which allowed it to be used to pass the test.

Eight gets the goal, and immediately the test has been passed.

"Well, I mean, like I _did _think of it, but y... you know what I'm saying." Bill groaned.

* * *

***Level: Level H02: Ballercise Station***

Eight was rolling inside the Baller special, meeting a bunch of crates, turncycles, and sanitized Octotroopers.

"The countdown is on! Ignore the enemies and keep moving!" Cap'n CUttlefish's voice said over the intercom. Eight kept rolling on.

"A bye bye!" Bill teased as Eight stopped in place. Then the Baller explodes, splatting one of the sanitized Octotroopers. The other one was still safe since he had a shield in front of him.

"I don't know why, but something about just exploding like that... it's just so satisfying." Bill chuckled. So Eight kept on trying to explode her Baller to splat the shielded Octoslob.

But the time was getting short.

"Oh, wait! Wait a minute, I'm on a timer!" Bill exclaimed. And by the time that the shielded Octotrooper was splatted, it was too late. Time has run out.

"You ran out of time- test failed." CQ Cumber said. And then Eight explodes.

"Oh. I did not even know that." Was all Bill responded with. He payed attention to the timer as Eight respawns.

"How much time- 30 SECONDS?! Goodness gracious!" Bill complained, "Okay, so we just gotta avoid everybody."

And that's the exact strategy that Bill Cipher had in his head.

***next attempt***

Eight was jumping across moving platforms while inside the Baller. Meanwhile, Octosnipers were there to try and knock her off the edge.

"Oh gosh. Kay, we just gotta avoid the snipes, I guess?" Bill assumed. The timer was running low.

"Ugh, how long is this level?" Bill groaned. And one of the Snipers pushed Eight off, and she couldn't get back up onto the platform.

"Oh my gosh, I'm dead!" Bill yelled.

***next attempt***

Eight jumps as she avoids two snipes at the same time.

"Ooh!" Bill yelped. And luckily, she has made it to the checkpoint just in time.

"Oh my gosh, how long-?" Bill started, but then noticed when he got the checkpoint, that the time limit has increased by 25 seconds.

"Oho! That's the ticket!" Cuttlefish cheered.

"Okay, checkpoint. Oh wow, so we get extra time. Good," Bill said, "I was gonna say, like, dang. This is a long level for 30 seconds."

More time passes, and Eight has now on a platform with incoming Octomissiles.

"Whoa! Oh, gosh!" Bill yelped. And to top all of it, there was an Octosniper to stop Eight from proceeding.

"Oh gosh, I can't move!" Bill shouted. And then Eight fell off the platform.

"I'm dead." Bill laughed.

***next attempt***

Now Eight was near the goal, She rolled up to a turncycle, which sent her flying. And now she was near the goal, guarded by two sanitized Octarians: three regular Octotroopers, and tone Twintacle Octotroopers.

"Alright, the goal is up here. Okay." Bill said. Eight landed back on the ground, with ten seconds left on the clock.

"Oh, there it is! Sick!" Bill cheered.

"Get to the goal any way you can!" Pearl reminded. The four sanitized Octarians began shooting at Eight to stop her from moving forward.

"Get out of my way!" Bill commanded. She tried exploding, and was weakening two of them, which didn't have shields.

"The goal! GET OUT OF MY WAY!" Bill screamed, getting angry by the minute. Eight was now behind the goal. She exploded again, and splatted one of the Octotroopers.

"GET OUT. OF MY WAY!" Bill exclaimed as his one eye turns red. Eight explodes the Baller again, and the goal is now available for collecting.

"Come on! COME ON!" Bill shrieked. And fortunately, Eight made it just in time. This in return made Bill drop his controller as his eye turns back to its normal color. He was relieved to finally pass it.

* * *

***Level: Level H03: Sweet Ride Station***

Eight was on the tower, almost to the goal, with so many sanitized ink _everywhere._

A sanitized Octoling landed a Splashdown. But Eight was on the other side of the head of the tower, so she didn't take the damage.

"Okay! Okay, I was NOT expecting that." Bill yelped. Eight splatted the Octoling, and made it to the goal shortly after. When she reaches the goal, NOW Bill was confused.

"Wait, how did I not get hit? Okay, that blast definitely hit me. I should've died from that." He said.

* * *

***Level: Level H04: Shooter McStation***

Eight shot a target box on a moving Octowasher. This was the fourth one she got easily, since she was using a Rapid Blaster.

"Ha!" Bill snickered. One more left! The walls moved, and only thin spots can be seen.

"One left. Oh my gosh." Bill just laughed. Eight easily got the next moving target box.

"HA! Ah ha ha ha!" Bill just laughed at his flawless achievement.

"Ah ha... ha. That wasn't funny. Very shocked that I did that, like... basically like a god right there," Bill said bluntly, "I only missed a couple of... I was messing up on the easiest section of that whole level."

But he checked the map to notice that he is one level away until getting to the level with one of the four Thangs.

* * *

***Level: level H05: Ink It Station***

Eight had a slightly different pink ink color. And Bill looked at it before starting the level.

"Oh, look at this color ink!" Bill complimented, "It's so neat. It looks like strawberry ice cream. I've never seen a light pink color like that."

Then Eight proceeded to start the level, holding onto a Hydra Splatling.

***later***

Eight was on the "hands" of the clock. The clock was all green, but Eight painted them pink to stay there in octopus form.

"I don't care if I get green." Bill groaned. Eight let out a small noise as she soon fell down. Bill was shocked, but also confused.

"WHAT? Why?!" Bill complained, "Why did I fall? Nothing happened! I was doing fine!"

* * *

After that level was completed, Bill noticed the level with the fourth Thang was now available.

"Okay, now we get to see what the thang is." Bill said. But he withdraws the map for a second, and checks out the train again. Eight walks up to Iso Padre.

"Also, I'm not gonna lie," Bill responded smugly, "This guy is literally just Dr. Eggman. Like, seriously. He's got the same glasses, the same moustace. It's Dr. Eggman, but in bug form.

* * *

***Level: level H06: Break and Bounce Station***

"See, I don't know," Bill said as Eight climbs up the ramp, "Maybe I'm gonna, like... face the final boss now?"

Eight breaks the barrier surrounding the thang. She takes a selfie with it, and then puts it onto the train.

"I... I don't even know what that is," Bill groaned with a blunt look, "I think it's part of the blender?"

* * *

***back at Deepsea Metro Central Station***

**"WHOOMP- THERE IT IS! You have found the final thang!" **The Telephone cheered.

"The final thang, here we go!" Bill cheered.

"Okay. You are like, 'totes impressed'." Bill repeated what the Telephone was saying.

The Telephone screeched as the lid of the blender comes onto him. Bill was very shocked. Mainly because of the screeching.

"What is going on?" He questioned.

After a small cutscene, Eight and Cap'n Cuttlefish stepped inside the blender. Bill knew that was a big mistake.

"OH GOSH! We're gonna die," Bill exclaimed, "We are going to die, right now. 'Reformatting matter'."

Bill repeated everything the Telephone was saying again.

Eight and Cuttlefish banged on the glass, trying to get out. Bill just face palmed, as he was annoyed.

"Why did- What were they thinking? Why would they step in the blender?" He groaned.

And suddenly, Agent 3 (male version with blue eyes) bursts through the ceiling, coming down at a fast speed. Bill was very surprised.

"Whaaat? Ohhh, what is going on?" He yelped. Then Three punched the Telephone, freeing Eight and Cuttlefish from the blender.

"WHOA!" Bill screamed. He then took a snapshot of it with the snapshot button on the Pro Controller.

"That was cool!" He complimented.

* * *

Bill notices a map as Eight was starting her escape routine.

"Okay, so this must be... wait a minute," Bill said, "Is this like Mega Man? Is there, like, different stages? All I can think of is Dr. Wily's castle."

Eight landed on her first stop, which was the Coccyx Phase.

"Oh my gosh. This is literally flippin' Mega Man right now!" Bill pointed out.

"Dang it! Agent 8, you got no weapon!" Cuttlefish ranted.

"Alright, I've got no weapon?" He questioned. Then he noticed the text above and repeated it:

"Avoid enemies and sneak your way in. Oh my gosh, this is cool. This is literally, like, Metal Gear Solid." Bill complimented.

***later***

Eight swam up an Inkrail. Two sanitized Twintacle Octotroopers noticed her.

"OH GOSH! Oh gosh! Oh no, mayday, mayday! Bill shrieked. Luckily, Eight made it out, taking little damage.

"Oh Axolotl. Okay, we're fine." Bill sighed in relief. Eight got the checkpoint, so that's perfect.

"Oh, I thought they were gonna chase me down or something." Bill reminded. Eight continued her sneaking by.

Later on, Eight was in her ink as a sanitized Octotrooper was strolling by.

"Man, I kinda wish for this, they made, like... different types of enemies?" Bill suggested, "Because... I mean, this is really interesting, but... I don't know, I think they could've made this more suspenseful if they made brand new enemies that looked like... you know, more intimidating. Cuz these enemies I've already defeated, like a thousand times."

An Octosniper notices Eight jump by once she got farther. Two Octopods appeared. They exploded since they were close to Eight, and broken her shield.

"I'M DEAD! It's over!" Bill screamed. Eight was simply jumping across, avoiding the Octosniper's snipes.

It was hard for her to move since she was stepping in the sanitized ink.

"You know, I'm gonna make it through, who cares? Yolo." Bill ranted, "Dude, I'm yoloing it. Let's go.

Eight recovered from her sheidl break, and was moving a tiny bit faster while constantly jumping.

"Ha! Get rekt!" Bill laughed as he made it across. But as he let Eight swim to the Inkrail, she instead passed near it. And she fell off.

"I'm an idiot! I made it through all of that, and then fell." Bill just chuckled at his own failure.

Later on, Bill made it farther into the mission. Eight was swimming across a free path of magenta ink.

But then she was noticed, since her octopus form was slightly revealed. Two Octotroopers, one Octopod spawned it, and then there was an Octosniper.

"What? How? HOW?! I'm just going!" Bill complained. Eight kept on moving.

"Just forget it! YOLO! I'm going in hot" Bill screamed. Eight's shield has broken, and a sanitized Octotrooper, along with a sanitized Twintacle Octotrooper, was shooting at her.

"Okay, come on." Bill whispered. Then the platform was spinning, making it more tricky for Eight to make it across.

"Oh no, don't spin, don't spin! Spinning's bad!" Bill exclaimed. But then Eight was splatted.

"EIIIIIGHT!" Pearl screeched.

"SNAAAAKE! This is literally Metal Gear Solid!" Bill laughed, "They totally ripped off Metal G- It's not really ripping off, but, like... it's totally inspired.

Back in the same spot for the next attempt, Eight slowly slipped down to her ink path in the platform where she died last time. But she was noticed once again.

"Oh gosh! NOOOOO! What do I do?!" Bill screeched. Eight was splatted within a matter of seconds.

"Nooo! What do you do?" Bill groaned.

***next attempt***

Eight made it across, but fell off before making it to the turncycle. She WAS noticed, after all.

"Rrgh! I almost had it! I just made a bad jump." Bill sighed.

***next attempt***

"Okay, go! Go! GO GO GO GO GO GO! GOOOOOO!" Bill yelped. Eight's shield is broken, but she made it across the platform. And now she has reached the next checkpoint.

"Ohh... oh my gosh... that was intense." Bill was panting from exhaustion. Even as a dream demon, he feels that moment. Eight made it through another turncycle, and made it to the other side. She collected a couple squid rings without being noticed.

"Alright. Oh, that's a spawn. We don't wanna touch that." Bill reminded. Eight went wround the spawn pad. It wouldn't have done anything to her anyway.

More moving later, Eight was climing up a tower in her own ink as she avoided enemies who noticed her.

"Okay, let's go. Go, go go go, get up!" Bill exclaimed. But then, Eight fell off the tower, despite still being in octopus form.

"What happened?! I was climbing!" Bill shouted angrily.

***next attempt***

"Come on, go go go go go! Don't snipe me!" Bill yelped. And this time, Eight made it to the top, and launched to the next level thanks to the launchpad.

"YES! Yes, next phase! We did it!" Bill laughed. He looked at the map again.

"Okay. This is literally Dr. Wily's castle, but Splatoon. This is so cool." The triangle demon complimented.

* * *

***2nd phase: Villi Phase***

"Ooh a can! Yes, there is a can." Bill cheered. He already gotten far in that phase. Eight collected the can, and is now equipped with Splat Bombs.

"I don't know what this- oh, it's a weapon! Finally, I have SOMETHING." Bill used the bomb to explode the crates in front of her.

Eight was soon on a platform with a propellor lift, with Octohurlers coming up next.

"Man, it is weird playing with uh... with side weapons, I'm not gonna lie." Bill chuckled.

More time passes, and...

Eight collects another can, and gets equipped with an Octo Shot.

"Yo, _finally _I got a gun! Oh my gosh!" Bill laughed. Eight inked the wall, and swam up it.

"Oh, that is so nice." The dream demon responded.

In the area with a bunch of inkrails, an Octosniper tried to get Eight. Eight tried to get to the other set of Inkrails, but fell off.

"No, no, no no no!" Bill exclaimed, synchronizing with the tune of Nasty Majesty. He just groans and face palms.

"Oh my gosh..."

* * *

Bill soon saves his progress and stops what he's doing.

"Okay, well this has been going on for quite a while. I'll keep going on with this another time." Bill said.

He snaps his fingers, and a portal appears. Bill evilly laughs as he stares directly into it.

"Now, I have some worlds to make WEIRD. Remember, reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, BYE!"

And with that, Bill Cipher began doing what he does best.

And that is making deals with others to soon terrorize them with his mischievous plans.

* * *

**Author's Note: I know Bill isn't like this when playing the game. This is just a fun parody that I wanted to make. XD**

**Now that this is done, It's Smash crossover time. See you there, everyone! Stay Fresh! :D**


End file.
